Module 2: Counseling Basics
A counselor is one who consoles others and provides comfort, support, encouragement, godly direction, correction, guidance, and accountability. When someone is at the point of needing a counselor, often times they are very stressed, confused, overwhelmed, worried, depressed, and/or scared. This can make it difficult for them to focus and think clearly. For this reason, a counselor is one who can help others think through solutions providing the "sound mind" they need. Effective counselors are active listeners who are able to create a safe space without judgement for their clients to share their innermost thoughts and feelings.
Your responsibility as a counselor isn't to tell your clients what they should or shouldn't do. Clients are responsible for making their own decisions and choices. Is is appropriate to teach and guide clients on how to arrive at healthy solutions and to think in more healthy, rational, functional ways on their own. The overarching goal is to create a safe environment for clients to process their thoughts and emotions and arrive at new strategies for sustainable change.
What makes a good counselor? A good counselor is one who invests their heart in the lives of their clients. In my experience, I have found that there are several core characteristics, habits, and disciplines that valuable counselors possess. Outlined below, is a listing of each. We will take a closer look at each one and see why they are so important to the success as an effective counselor. This module is an awareness builder designed to give you a deeper understanding of what will make you a great counselor.
Your responsibility as a counselor isn't to tell your clients what they should or shouldn't do. Clients are responsible for making their own decisions and choices. Is is appropriate to teach and guide clients on how to arrive at healthy solutions and to think in more healthy, rational, functional ways on their own. The overarching goal is to create a safe environment for clients to process their thoughts and emotions and arrive at new strategies for sustainable change.
What makes a good counselor? A good counselor is one who invests their heart in the lives of their clients. In my experience, I have found that there are several core characteristics, habits, and disciplines that valuable counselors possess. Outlined below, is a listing of each. We will take a closer look at each one and see why they are so important to the success as an effective counselor. This module is an awareness builder designed to give you a deeper understanding of what will make you a great counselor.
Be a Great Listener
This is the most important thing you can offer your clients! It is such a healing and rewarding experience for someone to truly feel understood and heard. More than any advise you may be able to offer your clients, being able to "hold space" for them where they can feel heard sharing their thoughts and feelings is the most valuable gift you can give them. Holding space is also about meeting your clients "where they are at" and just being there with them. In your sessions, really try to listen to your clients' heart, more so than their words. Being an active listener is something I strongly suggest you cultivate.
Active listening means:
Active listening means:
- Being fully present with your client without any distractions, giving them your complete attention. People literally can "feel" when you are actively listening to them and when you are not. There is a supportive experience that is felt from someone who is actively listening.
- Taking notes as your client is speaking.
- Breathing as your client is speaking. Your sessions will eventually become like a mediation for you.
Be Organized
It is important to be well organized and that you have a good calendar system. Being on time for your sessions is of upmost importance. As the counselor, you are also responsible for sending your clients meeting invites for all scheduled sessions. You will also need a contact management system where you can keep ongoing session notes on all of your clients. Do not take handwritten notes! Your notes will need to be typed into a contact management tool. I use Microsoft Outlook as my contact management tool but there are several contact management options available for you to select from. Please have both your calendar system and contact management system established before moving to the next training module.
Practicing healthy organizational and time management habits will also help you when you need to lead a client in how to become more organized. Keep in mind, often times when people are struggling with anxiety, depression, abuse, addiction, and so on their environments and lives become disorganized. This is because our outward environment is a reflection of what is going on in our minds. For example, a cluttered mind leads to a cluttered life. People who struggle with decision making will usually have a lot of clutter and disorder in their life. Therefore, if this is an area of challenge for you, then it may be one to spend some time around improving. I can offer assistance if needed.
Practicing healthy organizational and time management habits will also help you when you need to lead a client in how to become more organized. Keep in mind, often times when people are struggling with anxiety, depression, abuse, addiction, and so on their environments and lives become disorganized. This is because our outward environment is a reflection of what is going on in our minds. For example, a cluttered mind leads to a cluttered life. People who struggle with decision making will usually have a lot of clutter and disorder in their life. Therefore, if this is an area of challenge for you, then it may be one to spend some time around improving. I can offer assistance if needed.
Practice Self Care
When you begin your counseling ministry it will be important not to take on too much. This means not overscheduling yourself with too many sessions and having plenty of down time to take care of yourself. Maintaining a healthy diet, getting plenty of sleep, exercising, spending time with your family, reading your Bible, and so on will be essential disciplines for you. As a counselor, you need to give out of an abundance of what you have, not what you don't have. If you can't care for yourself, then you won't be able to care well for others. Balance and boundaries are important to cultivate as a counselor. In other words, you will need to "walk the walk". To encourage others to practice self-care and to love themselves, you first will need to have this in place.
Some best practices in this area are:
Some best practices in this area are:
- Book no more than 4 clients per day
- Get plenty of sleep
- Stay in the word daily, this will feed you spiritually
- Maintain a healthy diet and exercise because you will need to be able to think clearly at all times
- Avoid working with clients who don't show effort towards change; sometimes people just want a "friend" more than they want counseling
- Have the means to take care of yourself/family financially, and do not make your counseling ministry your primary source of income
Pull From Your Life Experience
Successful counselors often times have a lot of valuable life experience that they can pull from. The more life experience you have the more you will be able to relate to your clients, and vise versa. Life can teach us much more than any book or class can. You will notice that many of the clients you work with will have gone through the same challenges you have. Keep in mind, you will not be able to effectively counsel another in any area where you are still currently struggling or bound. If this is the case, you will first need to break free from this area of bondage before you minister into another person's life. This will also prevent you from being "triggered" in a session. If you are speaking with a client about an issue that you are still struggling with yourself it can trigger you, and this cannot happen in a session. A good counselor is to be there for their clients, and to never use a client's session to "work through" their own issues.
Know Who You Are
Being grounded in your identity is a must for a Christian Counselor. More specifically, being grounded in your identity in Christ. This is one of the main areas of attack where the enemy likes to move in and cause confusion. The root cause for many mental and emotional disorders and dysfunction comes from people not knowing who they are. We can see why the lost world struggles with this, but many professing Christians do as well. This is due to an ignorance of the scriptures. For this reason, it is critical that before you begin counseling others, especially Christians, that you are clear and grounded in who you are in Christ.
Begin by asking yourself this question: Who am I?
Do you struggle to answer this question? If so, that is an indication that you need more development in this area before beginning your ministry work in counseling. A clue to where to find the answer is the Bible. If you are having trouble with this, please reach out to me via the form below. We will work together to build you up in this area!
Begin by asking yourself this question: Who am I?
Do you struggle to answer this question? If so, that is an indication that you need more development in this area before beginning your ministry work in counseling. A clue to where to find the answer is the Bible. If you are having trouble with this, please reach out to me via the form below. We will work together to build you up in this area!
Genuinely Care About Others
I have had people say to me, "How can you sit there all day and just listen to other people's problems, don't you get depressed?" Now while I understand this question, the honest answer is, "No." And I am sure that this would be your answer as well. This is because the heart of a Christian Counselor rejoices in seeing others restored and walking in freedom. As it says in 2 Corinthians 3:17, "For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." It is this freedom, in Christ, that as counselors we desire to have others experience. In a sense, your work is truly to set the captives free from the bondage of the enemy. To speak words of encouragement and life into their lives and relationships. To edify the Body of Christ and to preach the gospel of grace to those clients who are still unbelievers (1 Corinthians 15:1-4).
While it is important to deeply and authentically care about the well-being, healing, and success of your clients, it is critical to know how to remain detached enough during a session that you don't let your emotions get the best of you. Throughout your ministry work as a counselor you will hear some terrible, traumatic, shocking, cruel, and painful stories from your clients. It is essential that you are able to hold a safe space for them where you "observe the conversation" but do not get pulled in so much that you yourself become triggered and break down emotionally. This is something some people struggle with. If this is an area where you think you could use some support, please email me below and we will work together one-on-one to build you up in this area.
Lastly, it is important to know that the enemy is hard at work these days trying to destroy marriages. One of the roles you will play, when counseling married couples, is to speak reconciliation, restoration, and life back into the brokenness and division that has crept its way into many marriages. God hates divorce. In the upcoming modules you will learn some best practices for how to counsel in these areas. But having a heart for the salvation, edification, and success of others and for seeing marriages restored and reconciled is the heart condition of a successful Christian Counselor.
While it is important to deeply and authentically care about the well-being, healing, and success of your clients, it is critical to know how to remain detached enough during a session that you don't let your emotions get the best of you. Throughout your ministry work as a counselor you will hear some terrible, traumatic, shocking, cruel, and painful stories from your clients. It is essential that you are able to hold a safe space for them where you "observe the conversation" but do not get pulled in so much that you yourself become triggered and break down emotionally. This is something some people struggle with. If this is an area where you think you could use some support, please email me below and we will work together one-on-one to build you up in this area.
Lastly, it is important to know that the enemy is hard at work these days trying to destroy marriages. One of the roles you will play, when counseling married couples, is to speak reconciliation, restoration, and life back into the brokenness and division that has crept its way into many marriages. God hates divorce. In the upcoming modules you will learn some best practices for how to counsel in these areas. But having a heart for the salvation, edification, and success of others and for seeing marriages restored and reconciled is the heart condition of a successful Christian Counselor.
Love God's Word and Study Daily
As a Christian Counselor, you will need to know the scriptures. This is what sets you apart from secular counselors. Your knowledge of God's truth is what people need and is why it is important to be built up with sound doctrine and scripture. Therefore, you will need to study daily. This can include biblical teachings from biblical teachers and pastors but you must touch the word of God daily. A love for the word is something believers have but sometimes we can become lazy when it comes to reading and studying the word. As a counselor in ministry this is not an option. If people are counting on you for biblical direction you must know the scriptures, and know them correctly, so as not to spread false teachings or misguide others. We are commanded in 2 Timothy 2:15 to "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Have a Question?
At any point during your training you can submit a question to me.
I will respond via email promptly.
If your question requires a more detailed response, I will call you directly.
I will respond via email promptly.
If your question requires a more detailed response, I will call you directly.
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