Module 2: Core Skills & Counseling Basics
This module is an awareness builder, designed to provide a deeper understanding of what it takes to become a great counselor. A counselor provides comfort, support, encouragement, direction, correction, guidance, and accountability to others. When individuals are at the point of needing counseling, they are often stressed, confused, overwhelmed, worried, depressed, and/or scared. This can make it difficult for them to focus and think clearly. For this reason, a counselor's role is to provide the sound mind their clients need while assisting them through the process of thinking through effective solutions.
The overarching goal of counseling is to create a safe environment in which clients can process through their innermost thoughts and emotions and arrive at new strategies for sustainable change. Your responsibility as an effective counselor is to maintain a judgement-free space while actively listening to clients and engaging them in processing through potential solutions. It is not your responsibility, as a counselor, to tell your clients what they should or should not do. Clients are responsible for making their own decisions. However, it is appropriate to coach clients on how to process through challenges in healthier, more rational, and functional ways so that they can arrive at healthy solutions on their own.
What makes a good counselor? Effective Christian counselors offer practical and biblical solutions to their clients. A good counselor is one who truly cares about the success of their clients and invests his or her heart in their lives. There are several core characteristics, habits, and disciplines valuable counselors possess, and a listing of each is outlined below.
The overarching goal of counseling is to create a safe environment in which clients can process through their innermost thoughts and emotions and arrive at new strategies for sustainable change. Your responsibility as an effective counselor is to maintain a judgement-free space while actively listening to clients and engaging them in processing through potential solutions. It is not your responsibility, as a counselor, to tell your clients what they should or should not do. Clients are responsible for making their own decisions. However, it is appropriate to coach clients on how to process through challenges in healthier, more rational, and functional ways so that they can arrive at healthy solutions on their own.
What makes a good counselor? Effective Christian counselors offer practical and biblical solutions to their clients. A good counselor is one who truly cares about the success of their clients and invests his or her heart in their lives. There are several core characteristics, habits, and disciplines valuable counselors possess, and a listing of each is outlined below.
Be a Great Listener
This is the most important thing you can offer your clients! It is very healing for someone to feel truly heard and understood. Being able to "hold space" for someone where they can honestly share their thoughts and feelings is the most valuable gift you can give them. Moving forward, you will want to practice active listening with everyone you communicate with.
Active listening in a counseling session means:
Active listening in a counseling session means:
- Being fully present with your client. People can "feel" when they are being actively listened to. There is a supportive experience that is felt from someone who is actively listening.
- Taking notes as your client is speaking.
- Breathing as your client is speaking. Your sessions will eventually become a meditation for you.
Be Organized
When people are struggling with anxiety, depression, abuse, addiction, and so on, their environments (and lives) often become very disorganized. Therefore, as the counselor, it is important that you are well organized and have a good calendar system. Be sure that you are on time for sessions as it provides the structure and accountability your clients need. It is also recommended that you utilize a contact management tool for maintaining all client contact information and documenting session notes. Microsoft Outlook is recommended for both the calendar system and contact management tool. If you prefer, you may use another calendar system and contact management tool.
Please have your calendar system and contact management tool established before moving on to Training Module 3. If organization is an area of challenge for you, then you will need to spend some time improving this area of your life before starting your counseling ministry.
Please have your calendar system and contact management tool established before moving on to Training Module 3. If organization is an area of challenge for you, then you will need to spend some time improving this area of your life before starting your counseling ministry.
Practice Self-Care
Balance and boundaries are important to cultivate as a counselor. Maintaining a healthy diet, getting plenty of sleep, exercising, spending time with your family, reading your Bible, and so on will be essential disciplines for you. This includes not overscheduling yourself with too many clients and having plenty of down time to take care of yourself. For this reason, it is recommended that you book no more than 4 clients per day (or less if needed). As a counselor, you need to give out of an abundance of what you have, not what you don't have. If you can't care for yourself, then you won't be able to care well for others. In other words, you need to "walk the walk". To encourage others to love themselves well and practice self-care, you will first need to have this in place yourself.
Lastly, if you notice a client is not putting in the time and effort needed for change, gradually ramp down sessions with them. For example, you may notice such a client will not complete homework, or has missed or rescheduled multiple sessions, or keeps discussing the same issues in sessions that have already been addressed. Sometimes people just want a "friend" more than they want counseling. Therefore, be mindful not to give away your valuable time and energy to those who show they are not ready, or willing, to put in the effort to achieve the goals and change they claim to want.
Lastly, if you notice a client is not putting in the time and effort needed for change, gradually ramp down sessions with them. For example, you may notice such a client will not complete homework, or has missed or rescheduled multiple sessions, or keeps discussing the same issues in sessions that have already been addressed. Sometimes people just want a "friend" more than they want counseling. Therefore, be mindful not to give away your valuable time and energy to those who show they are not ready, or willing, to put in the effort to achieve the goals and change they claim to want.
Pull From Your Life Experience
Successful counselors have valuable life experience that they can pull from. The more life experience you have, the more you will be able to relate to your clients, and vise versa. Life can teach us much more than any book or class can. You will notice that many of the clients you work with will have gone through the same challenges you have. Keep in mind, you will not be able to effectively counsel another in an area of challenge where you are still currently bound. For example, if you are struggling with unforgiveness, you will not want to counsel others who are also struggling with unforgiveness. If you discover that there is an area of struggle where you are still bound, then you will need to break free from this bondage before ministering to someone else in this same area of bondage. Matthew 7:3-5, “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye." Furthermore, if you are speaking with a client about an issue that you are still struggling with yourself, it can "trigger" you. As a counselor, you are to be there for your clients, and never use a client's session to work through your own issues.
Know Who You Are
Being grounded in your identity "in Christ" is a must for a Christian Counselor. This is a main area of attack by the enemy. The enemy knows that if we are either ignorant of, or confused about, who we are (according to God), it will cause a lot of turmoil and damage in our lives. One root cause for many mental and emotional disorders is people not really knowing who they are. Unbelievers and believers alike struggle with identity issues, and this is due to an ignorance of the scriptures. For this reason, before you begin counseling others, it is critical that you are grounded in who you are "in Christ".
Begin by asking yourself this question, as a believer: Who am I?
Do you struggle to answer this question? If yes, then it means you need to gain more understanding about your identity "in Christ". A clue to where to find the answer is the Bible. If you are having trouble answering this question, please reach out via the form below, and support will be provided to build you up in this area.
Begin by asking yourself this question, as a believer: Who am I?
Do you struggle to answer this question? If yes, then it means you need to gain more understanding about your identity "in Christ". A clue to where to find the answer is the Bible. If you are having trouble answering this question, please reach out via the form below, and support will be provided to build you up in this area.
Genuinely Care About Others
The heart of a counselor rejoices to see others restored and set free from bondage. Counselors genuinely care about each client they work with. When you sincerely care about those you work with, they will be able to feel that you care for them (and remember, some people have never felt genuine love and care from another person). In this way, you are able to share the love of Christ with them. Now, while it is important to deeply and authentically care about the well-being, healing, and success of your clients, it is critical that you not get so emotionally "drawn in" during a session that you become emotionally overwhelmed or triggered. You will need to remain detached enough during a session that you don't let your emotions get the best of you.
Throughout your work as a counselor, you will hear some terrible, traumatic, shocking, cruel, and painful stories from your clients. It is essential that you are able to hold a safe space for them where you "observe the conversation" but do not get pulled in so much that you break down emotionally. If you do start to feel emotionally overwhelmed in a session, take a few deep breaths and pull yourself back to being the "distant observer". As your client is sharing their story, think of yourself as someone who is watching a movie, and remain emotionally detached as you listen. Don't "take on" their pain or become overly empathetic; instead you can share your compassion by saying, "That must have been really difficult for you, and I'm sorry that happened to you."
If you think this is an area where you could use some support, please reach out via the form below, and support will be provided to build you up in this area.
Throughout your work as a counselor, you will hear some terrible, traumatic, shocking, cruel, and painful stories from your clients. It is essential that you are able to hold a safe space for them where you "observe the conversation" but do not get pulled in so much that you break down emotionally. If you do start to feel emotionally overwhelmed in a session, take a few deep breaths and pull yourself back to being the "distant observer". As your client is sharing their story, think of yourself as someone who is watching a movie, and remain emotionally detached as you listen. Don't "take on" their pain or become overly empathetic; instead you can share your compassion by saying, "That must have been really difficult for you, and I'm sorry that happened to you."
If you think this is an area where you could use some support, please reach out via the form below, and support will be provided to build you up in this area.
Study the Word Daily
As a Christian Counselor, you need to know the scriptures. Your knowledge and understanding of biblical truth is what sets you apart from a secular counselor. Therefore, you will need to study daily. This can include teachings from biblical teachers and pastors, but you must touch the word of God daily. A love for God's word is something all believers have, but sometimes we can become lazy when it comes to reading and studying the scriptures. As a counselor in ministry, this is not an option for you. If people are counting on you for biblical direction, you must know the scriptures, and know them rightly divided, so as not to spread false teachings or misguide others. We are commanded in 2 Timothy 2:15 to "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." To learn more about understanding right division, please review the series Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth by Grace Bible Community Church. For women, we have a weekly Women's Bible Study every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday that is another great way to help keep you in God's word.
If you have any questions regarding the Bible or how best to study it, please feel free to reach out with your questions using the form below.
If you have any questions regarding the Bible or how best to study it, please feel free to reach out with your questions using the form below.
Have a Question?
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Submit a question at any point during the training. You will receive a response via email unless your question requires a more detailed response, then a call will be scheduled.
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