Module 2: Core Skills & Counseling Basics
This module details foundational must-haves that will provide a deeper understanding of what it takes to become a great counselor. A counselor provides comfort, support, encouragement, direction, correction, guidance, and accountability to others. When individuals are at the point of needing counseling, they are often stressed, confused, overwhelmed, worried, depressed, and/or scared. This can make it difficult for them to focus and think clearly. For this reason, it is also a counselor's role to provide the sound mind that clients need to think through productive solutions. The overarching goal of counseling is to create a safe space in which clients can process through their innermost thoughts and emotions and arrive at new strategies for sustainable change.
Your responsibility as an effective counselor is to maintain a judgement-free environment while actively listening to clients and engaging them in processing through potential solutions based on biblical truth. It is not your responsibility to tell your clients what they should or should not do. Clients are responsible for making their own decisions. Instead, the main focus should be to empower your clients to process through their challenges in healthier, more rational, functional ways so that they can arrive at healthy solutions on their own.
To complete this module:
Your responsibility as an effective counselor is to maintain a judgement-free environment while actively listening to clients and engaging them in processing through potential solutions based on biblical truth. It is not your responsibility to tell your clients what they should or should not do. Clients are responsible for making their own decisions. Instead, the main focus should be to empower your clients to process through their challenges in healthier, more rational, functional ways so that they can arrive at healthy solutions on their own.
To complete this module:
- Review each of the must-have core disciplines for Christian counselors outlined in the white boxes below.
- Practice cultivating the disciplines below in the areas where you need more development and/or refinement.
Be a Great Listener
Being a great active listener is the most important thing you can offer your clients! It is a very healing experience for someone to truly feel heard and understood. Being able to "hold space" for clients where they can honestly share their innermost thoughts and feelings is the most valuable gift you can give them as a counselor. The unfortunate truth is that most people are poor listeners. Therefore, don't underestimate how powerfully supportive being an active listener is to someone. More than the advice you give your clients, actively listening to them in a safe space is the most important thing you can give them.
Active listening in a counseling session means:
Active listening in a counseling session means:
- Listening with your heart and being able to "hear" your client's heart through his or her words,
- Breathing as your client is speaking (this will help you stay focused and grounded),
- Taking notes as your client is speaking, and
- Being fully present with your client, as people can "feel" when they are being actively listened to.
Be Organized
When people are struggling with anxiety, depression, rejection, abuse, addiction, and so on, their environments and lives often become very disorganized. Therefore, as the counselor, it is important that you present a good example by being well organized and on time for sessions. This will help your clients feel that you are someone they can rely on. To this end, it is important to use a reliable calendar system for scheduling your client sessions. It is also recommended that you utilize a contact management tool for maintaining all client contact information and documenting session notes. Microsoft Outlook is recommended for both the calendar system and contact management tool.
Please have your calendar system and contact management tool in place before moving on to Training Module 3. If organization is an area of challenge for you, then spend some time improving this area of your life before starting your counseling ministry. If you need further support in this area or help with setting up a calendar system and contact management tool, please reach out via the form below.
Please have your calendar system and contact management tool in place before moving on to Training Module 3. If organization is an area of challenge for you, then spend some time improving this area of your life before starting your counseling ministry. If you need further support in this area or help with setting up a calendar system and contact management tool, please reach out via the form below.
Practice Self-Care
Balance and boundaries are important to cultivate as a counselor. Maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle, exercising, getting plenty of rest, spending time with loved ones, studying the Bible, and so on are essential disciplines for full-time counselors. This includes not over-scheduling yourself with too many clients and having plenty of down time to take care of yourself. For this reason, it is recommended that you book no more than 4 clients per day (or less, if needed). As a counselor, you need to give out of an abundance of what you have, not what you don't have. If you can't care for yourself, then you won't be able to care well for others. In other words, you need to "walk the walk". To encourage others to love themselves well, have healthy boundaries, and practice self-care, you will need to have this in place for yourself first.
This includes giving yourself permission to not work with clients you don't want to work with. You are not obligated to take on every person as a client who reaches out for help. If you get a bad vibe from someone, if there is something that makes you uncomfortable, or you don't think a person is ready for counseling you can choose not to take on that individual as a client. There will always be people with problems who need help, so be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking that it is your responsibility to "save" or "rescue" everyone who reaches out to you.
Additionally, if you notice a client is not putting in the time or effort needed for change, gradually ramp down sessions with him or her. For example, you may notice such a client will not complete homework, will miss or reschedule multiple sessions, or will keep discussing the same issues over and over again that have already been resolved. Sometimes people want a "friend" more than they want counseling. Therefore, be mindful not to invest your valuable time and energy in those who show they are not ready, or willing, to put in the effort to achieve the goals and change they claim to want.
As you progress through this training, begin practicing more self-care in your life. Be sure you are setting necessary boundaries and carving out time to rest, read, and rejuvenate yourself with proper nutrition, sunlight, pure water, healthy relationships, and the word of God. As a full-time Christian counselor, cultivating these habits are necessary disciplines to ensure that you won't become burnt out or weighed down by the emotional burdens of others.
This includes giving yourself permission to not work with clients you don't want to work with. You are not obligated to take on every person as a client who reaches out for help. If you get a bad vibe from someone, if there is something that makes you uncomfortable, or you don't think a person is ready for counseling you can choose not to take on that individual as a client. There will always be people with problems who need help, so be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking that it is your responsibility to "save" or "rescue" everyone who reaches out to you.
Additionally, if you notice a client is not putting in the time or effort needed for change, gradually ramp down sessions with him or her. For example, you may notice such a client will not complete homework, will miss or reschedule multiple sessions, or will keep discussing the same issues over and over again that have already been resolved. Sometimes people want a "friend" more than they want counseling. Therefore, be mindful not to invest your valuable time and energy in those who show they are not ready, or willing, to put in the effort to achieve the goals and change they claim to want.
As you progress through this training, begin practicing more self-care in your life. Be sure you are setting necessary boundaries and carving out time to rest, read, and rejuvenate yourself with proper nutrition, sunlight, pure water, healthy relationships, and the word of God. As a full-time Christian counselor, cultivating these habits are necessary disciplines to ensure that you won't become burnt out or weighed down by the emotional burdens of others.
Pull From Your Life Experience
Successful counselors have valuable life experience that they can pull from. The more life experience you have, the more you will be able to relate to your clients, and vice versa. Life can teach us much more than any book or class can! You will notice that many of the clients you work with will tend to struggle with similar challenges that you have had to work through yourself. Keep in mind, you will not be able to effectively counsel another in an area of challenge where you are still currently bound. For example, if you are struggling with unforgiveness, you will not want to counsel others who are also struggling with unforgiveness until you have successfully processed through this yourself.
If you discover that there is an area of struggle where you are still bound, then you will need to break free from this bondage before ministering to someone else in this same area of bondage. Scripture addresses this in Matthew 7:3-5, “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."
Another reason this is important is because if you are speaking with a client about an issue that you are still struggling with yourself, it can "trigger" you when you are in a session. As a counselor, you need to remain neutral and grounded in sessions. You are to be there for your clients by holding space for them, and this will be difficult for you to do if you become emotionally triggered by a challenge or wound you haven't successfully worked through yourself.
If you discover that there is an area of struggle where you are still bound, then you will need to break free from this bondage before ministering to someone else in this same area of bondage. Scripture addresses this in Matthew 7:3-5, “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."
Another reason this is important is because if you are speaking with a client about an issue that you are still struggling with yourself, it can "trigger" you when you are in a session. As a counselor, you need to remain neutral and grounded in sessions. You are to be there for your clients by holding space for them, and this will be difficult for you to do if you become emotionally triggered by a challenge or wound you haven't successfully worked through yourself.
Know Who You Are
Being grounded in your identity "in Christ" is a must for a Christian counselor! Identity is a main area of attack by the enemy. The enemy knows that if we are ignorant of or confused about who we are then it will cause a lot of damage and turmoil in our lives. Often times, one of the root causes behind many mental and emotional issues is people not knowing and being grounded in their identity. Unbelievers and believers alike struggle with identity issues and this is due to an ignorance of, or a lack of belief in, the scriptures. For this reason, before you begin counseling others it is critical that you be grounded in your identity "in Christ".
Begin by asking yourself this question, as a believer: Who am I?
If you find yourself struggling to answer this question, then you need to gain more understanding about who you are "in Christ" before starting to counsel others. If you need support, please reach out via the form below and support will be provided to build you up in this area.
Begin by asking yourself this question, as a believer: Who am I?
If you find yourself struggling to answer this question, then you need to gain more understanding about who you are "in Christ" before starting to counsel others. If you need support, please reach out via the form below and support will be provided to build you up in this area.
Genuinely Care About Others
The heart of a counselor rejoices to see others restored and set free from bondage. Counselors genuinely care about each client they work with. When you sincerely care about those you work with they will be able to feel it which is a very healing experience. Remember, some people have never felt genuine love and care from another person before. In this way, you are able to share the love of Christ with them in an experiential way. Now, while it is important to deeply and authentically care about the healing and success of your clients, it is also critical not to get so emotionally "drawn in" during a session that you become emotionally overwhelmed or too emotionally invested. You will need to practice remaining emotionally detached enough during each counseling session so that your emotions won't get the best of you.
Throughout your work as a counselor, you will hear some terrible, traumatic, shocking, cruel, and painful stories from your clients. It is essential that you are able to hold a safe space for them where you "observe the conversation" but do not get pulled in so much that you break down emotionally. If you do start to feel emotionally overwhelmed in a session, take a few deep breaths and pull yourself back to being the "distant observer". As your client is sharing his or her story, think of yourself as someone who is watching a movie, and remain emotionally detached as you listen. Don't "take on" your client's pain or become overly empathetic. Instead, share your compassion by saying, "That must have been really difficult for you, and I'm sorry that happened to you."
Throughout your work as a counselor, you will hear some terrible, traumatic, shocking, cruel, and painful stories from your clients. It is essential that you are able to hold a safe space for them where you "observe the conversation" but do not get pulled in so much that you break down emotionally. If you do start to feel emotionally overwhelmed in a session, take a few deep breaths and pull yourself back to being the "distant observer". As your client is sharing his or her story, think of yourself as someone who is watching a movie, and remain emotionally detached as you listen. Don't "take on" your client's pain or become overly empathetic. Instead, share your compassion by saying, "That must have been really difficult for you, and I'm sorry that happened to you."
Study the Word Daily
As a Christian counselor, your understanding of biblical truth is what sets you apart from a secular counselor. A love for God's word is something all believers have, but sometimes we can become lazy when it comes to reading and studying the scriptures. As a counselor in ministry, this is not an option for you. Your clients are counting on you for biblical direction, so you must know the scriptures which will require daily study. At a minimum, as a Christian counselor you must be grounded in the following foundational biblical doctrines before ministering to clients. Feel free to reach out with any questions you may have regarding any of these biblical doctrines.
Foundational Doctrines
Gospel of Grace – There is only one gospel by which we are saved today and that is the gospel of grace that was revealed and committed unto the Apostle Paul. The gospel of grace is how that Christ died for our sins (shedding his blood as the atonement for sin) was buried and rose again on the third day for our justification. The moment we believe this gospel we are saved and sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. We are saved by grace through faith, it is the gift of God, and not of works lest any man should boost. This “gospel of grace” (to the uncircumcision) is distinct and different from the “gospel of the kingdom” (to the circumcision) which was preached by Peter and the other disciples in the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Acts.
Eternal Security – Scripture teaches that in this dispensation once we believe the gospel of grace we are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise unto the day of redemption. The moment we believe the gospel we are baptized into the body of Christ and receive a new identity. Once saved, we are complete in Christ and have been made the righteousness of God in him. Understanding your identity in Christ will help with the doctrinal understanding of eternal security. You cannot out sin the grace of God once you are saved. One of the main reasons for the confusion around eternal security has to do with confusing Israel’s conditional covenant standing with our complete standing in Christ as a member of the body of Christ.
One Baptism – There are many different baptisms in scripture, and they are not all water baptisms. For this reason, it is important to understand the baptism for believers today in this dispensation. Believer's baptism today is spiritual. The moment you believed the gospel of grace you were baptized by the Holy Spirit (not water) into the body of Christ (into his death, burial, and resurrection). The word baptism means “identification” (i.e., to be identified with), so the moment you believed the gospel, you were identified with Christ’s body (his death, burial, and resurrection). It is the Holy Spirit that seals (marks) and baptizes believers into the body of Christ.
Walk in the Spirit – Once we are saved, how are we to walk? Are we to try and follow the law after being saved? No. Once saved, we are instructed to stand fast in our liberty in Christ and walk in the Spirit by faith. In Christ, we have become “dead to the law” by the body of Christ. Scripture says, “But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law” and that “For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.” Those who try to keep the law after being saved put themselves back under the curse and make themselves a transgressor again. Saved believers have been crucified with Christ and, therefore, by the law have become dead to law that we might live unto God.
Rightly Dividing the Word – It is not enough to just read the word of God. We need to study it and understand the proper context of what we are reading, otherwise, it will lead to us into confusion and false doctrines. To do this, we are commanded to study the scriptures rightly divided. More specifically, this means understanding the three different time periods the Bible is broken into (i.e., time past, but now, and ages to come), the different identities between the nation of Israel and the Body of Christ, and the differences between prophecy and mystery. Understanding right division will clear up the confusion and contradictions you will find as you study scripture.
Foundational Doctrines
Gospel of Grace – There is only one gospel by which we are saved today and that is the gospel of grace that was revealed and committed unto the Apostle Paul. The gospel of grace is how that Christ died for our sins (shedding his blood as the atonement for sin) was buried and rose again on the third day for our justification. The moment we believe this gospel we are saved and sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. We are saved by grace through faith, it is the gift of God, and not of works lest any man should boost. This “gospel of grace” (to the uncircumcision) is distinct and different from the “gospel of the kingdom” (to the circumcision) which was preached by Peter and the other disciples in the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Acts.
- Reference verses: 1 Corinthians 15:1-4, Galatians 1:6-12, Ephesians 2:8-9, Galatians 2:7, Ephesians 3:1-6
- Study lesson: Have You Believed The Gospel Of Your Salvation?
Eternal Security – Scripture teaches that in this dispensation once we believe the gospel of grace we are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise unto the day of redemption. The moment we believe the gospel we are baptized into the body of Christ and receive a new identity. Once saved, we are complete in Christ and have been made the righteousness of God in him. Understanding your identity in Christ will help with the doctrinal understanding of eternal security. You cannot out sin the grace of God once you are saved. One of the main reasons for the confusion around eternal security has to do with confusing Israel’s conditional covenant standing with our complete standing in Christ as a member of the body of Christ.
- Reference verses: Ephesians 1:13, Ephesians 4:30, Colossians 2:10, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 2 Corinthians 5:21
- Study lesson: Eternal Security
- Study lesson: Why Salvation Can't Be Lost
One Baptism – There are many different baptisms in scripture, and they are not all water baptisms. For this reason, it is important to understand the baptism for believers today in this dispensation. Believer's baptism today is spiritual. The moment you believed the gospel of grace you were baptized by the Holy Spirit (not water) into the body of Christ (into his death, burial, and resurrection). The word baptism means “identification” (i.e., to be identified with), so the moment you believed the gospel, you were identified with Christ’s body (his death, burial, and resurrection). It is the Holy Spirit that seals (marks) and baptizes believers into the body of Christ.
- Reference verses: Ephesians 4:4-6, 1 Corinthians 12:13, 1 Corinthians 1:17, Galatians 3:27, Ephesians 1:13
- Study Lesson: Believers Baptism
Walk in the Spirit – Once we are saved, how are we to walk? Are we to try and follow the law after being saved? No. Once saved, we are instructed to stand fast in our liberty in Christ and walk in the Spirit by faith. In Christ, we have become “dead to the law” by the body of Christ. Scripture says, “But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law” and that “For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.” Those who try to keep the law after being saved put themselves back under the curse and make themselves a transgressor again. Saved believers have been crucified with Christ and, therefore, by the law have become dead to law that we might live unto God.
- Reference verses: Galatians 5:18, Galatians 5:25, Romans 7:4, Galatians 2:16-21, Romans 6:14-15
- Study lesson: Withstanding Peter
- Study lesson: Christ Liveth In Me
- Study lesson: Liberty In Christ
Rightly Dividing the Word – It is not enough to just read the word of God. We need to study it and understand the proper context of what we are reading, otherwise, it will lead to us into confusion and false doctrines. To do this, we are commanded to study the scriptures rightly divided. More specifically, this means understanding the three different time periods the Bible is broken into (i.e., time past, but now, and ages to come), the different identities between the nation of Israel and the Body of Christ, and the differences between prophecy and mystery. Understanding right division will clear up the confusion and contradictions you will find as you study scripture.
- Reference verse: 2 Timothy 2:15
- Study lesson: A Dispensational Chart
- Study lesson: Right Division Overview
- Study lesson: Rightly Dividing the Word of Truth
- Study lesson: Chart Lesson: Mystery Made Clear
- Study lesson: Rightly Dividing Mystery and Prophecy
- Study lesson: Why Do We Acknowledge Paul as Our Apostle
- Chart Graphic - Study tool pictured below (save graphic to your computer)
Right Division Chart - Study Tool
Recommended Bible Teachers/Pastors
Below are a couple of recommended doctrinally sound Bible teachers/pastors to help you study:
Women's Weekly Bible Study
For women, we have a weekly Women's Bible Study every Thursday night from 8:00-9:00 PM EST via Zoom. This is a great way to keep you in God's word weekly.
Below are a couple of recommended doctrinally sound Bible teachers/pastors to help you study:
Women's Weekly Bible Study
For women, we have a weekly Women's Bible Study every Thursday night from 8:00-9:00 PM EST via Zoom. This is a great way to keep you in God's word weekly.
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