Overcoming the stronghold of rejection

​Kathleen Carlow - West Wareham, MA

Through my sessions with Stephanie I have been able to get to the root of my pain. Understanding this root cause has helped me to heal and move on from an extremely painful past. My current relationships and stressors were a direct result of a rejection issue I was completely unaware of. I couldn't see clearly into my behaviors and actions because I had an overwhelming fear of being rejected. I didn't know that I had developed habits to try to protect myself but in reality I was destroying the relationships around me and not allowing myself to fully trust and forgive. With Stephanie's help, I was able to see things more clearly. She encouraged me with scripture and sent me a book about rejection that has opened my eyes to what fear of rejection looks like and why it's unhealthy.

Also, I can see how the rejection in my life (my dad leaving, abuse, betrayal etc.) was plaguing my relationship with God. I would automatically assume I wasn't going to be loved and by doing that I would distance my relationship from God. Though I have always had "child-like" faith and felt the presence of God, my issue was accepting that I was worthy of God's love and presence. By facing my rejection issues I have been able to see that I can choose to accept His love as He freely gives it. I am worthy of being loved because God says I am, not because I had a "perfect upbringing" or because my father's choices. I am worthy regardless of the pain in my past! Now I am able to look at myself as being in control of my life rather than as being a victim.

I am applying what I have learned by being able to objectively look at my emotions and reactions. I can see that the times when I am feeling emotions of unworthiness and rejection, that 99.9% of time they are not true! I see when I am setting myself up for rejection before it even happens and I am stopping the lies from the enemy from entering into my life. I feel like I am in control of my life, where as before I was jumping back and forth from every emotion and overwhelmed with confusion. I can now walk into a situation, without fear that I will be rejected but rather with confidence that I am worthy of being loved and accepted. I am no longer a slave to my stronghold of fear of rejection.

My relationship with my boyfriend was also completely toxic, and we both suffered from fear of rejection and trust issues. Now, our relationship is filled with hope and trust. We are both closer to God, and our communication has grown and continues to grow. We listen and have a better understanding about why we do the things we do. We understand that as a woman my greatest need is to "be loved" by him; and as a man his greatest need is to "be respected" by me. I have also been able to forgive him from his wrong doings. My greatest fear was being able to place my trust in him again but I can honestly say that I am filled with joy and continue to believe him and trust his word. Trust is a decision, not a feeling and I can't be holding on to his wrong doings. I was forgiven so he deserves it too!

What I love most about my sessions with Stephanie is the overwhelming care and understanding I feel. She listens and helps me to see the issues at hand. I am not afraid to be open and honest because I know that she cares and desires to help me. I love going chapter by chapter in the book she sent me. Stephanie counsels us both (my boyfriend and I) separately and together and has created an environment for us to feel comfortable opening up and not being ashamed of our issues. She is our saving grace!